Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
drinking out of a sandbucket again
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
