last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
