A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
