Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
