My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
