the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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