My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
