Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
