Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Drake has all the answers
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
