whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
