the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
