champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
