my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
