she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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