his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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