I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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