I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
