i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
