I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
