people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
