This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
True strength comes from lack of pants
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
