Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
