you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
