It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
