nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You smell like a Billy Joel song
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
