Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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