I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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