I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
