that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
