pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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