I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize