So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
