yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
