Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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