I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
