Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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