the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
