you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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