my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
