The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
