Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
