Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
its liver damage thursday
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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