1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
