Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i love accidental penises.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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