if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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