we have officially lost it.
you would pick up someone in the library
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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