The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
