McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize