Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
