Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
