I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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