She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
