He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
