my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
