The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
