If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
