Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
