I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
