So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
