I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
