you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
