and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm always down for nudity.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
