roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
