Welp...herpes.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize