You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
