So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
