This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
