...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
