My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
