She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
