Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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