Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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