brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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