Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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