Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
